Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
4 year.agoMexican pet shopThere was this pet shop in Mexico that was pretty popular in its area. The owner sold lizards, fish, hamsters; all sorts of animals. The only thing that he couldn’t sell was this old parrot that he had acquired from across the border named Polly. Every time someone showed interest in Polly she would squawk loudly and flap her wings aggressively; which tended to scare people off. This happened over and over again. Polly seemed to have a problem with every man and woman in Mexico. The shop owner had no idea what to make of it. Until one day a very lovely soft-spoken Hispanic woman came into the shop. She saw Polly and immediately fell in love. The owner of the shop, thinking this could be the day, asked her if she’d like to hold Polly. The soft-spoken woman eagerly accepted his offer. The shop owner opened Polly’s cage and brought her over to the woman. Right on cue, Polly began squawking and flapping her wings; she even managed to bite the Mexican woman. The woman, of course, ran out the shop frightened and bleeding. The shop owner, who had hoped that he might finally sell the Parrot, was furious. He began yelling at the bird, “That woman was so lovely and so kind! What problem did have with her?” In response Polly began to hop and bob her head while repeating, “Polly wants a Cracker! Polly wants a Cracker!”
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I went to pick her up, and she fell for me instantly. It was a rough start, but after that - we were on a roll.
I remembered something my dad used to say to my mom, so I walked over to her and said, "Get a fucking grip, you stupid bitch."
I texted back, "Ok, see you when you get here!"
They found his head and shoulders behind the couch.
He only cums once a year
And then Wham!
Probably heroin
I'm beginning to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.
Too close to the gas chamber
-Sent from your iPhone-
But only one of my daughters does anal, so it's really no contest.
He ate an 11-year old bun.
They both disappear fast
Liquid is a legitimate state
Because they make the toys.
He's an underground artist now
Two black guys are walking down the street and see a sign that says turn white for $75 Black guy one: "Do you think it will work? Black guy two: "Only one way to find out." BG1: "I only have $50" BG2: "Well, I have $100, I'll go do it then give you my change BG1: "Let's do it then" BG2 goes in and fifteen minutes later comes out white as a ghost, wearing a brand new suit and carrying briefcase. BG1: "Holy shit it actually worked! Let me get that $25" BG2: "Fuck you, nigger. Get a job." ___________ xpost:r/sickipedia
A ransom note...
The Indian cashier can provide actual change.
Zero School shootings so far this year!
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
I was bloody and sore at the end. But at least my dad came.
I'd have $2 and a pile of counterfeits.
The reasons the parents are crying.
With a small loan of $1 million from his father
Carlos take the stereo and I'll take lookout
The hardest part is always having to act surprised.
God created Hitler.
I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge...
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